Brittany Hatches A Plan
by SantittanyForever
Summary: Brittany gives a new meaning to the word 'crazy'. Funny Brittana one-shot.


Santana blinked lazily, allowing her eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness of her room. She glanced around, trying to determine the source of the noise that had dared to disturb her slumber. She twisted her head so she was facing her desk, and saw the telltale sign of her phone screen flashing, indicating the arrival of a text message. She grumbled to herself, something about 'cosas malas' and 'going all Lima Heights', but her frown quickly morphed into a smile as she saw who the message was from:

**-Hey babe! Come over as soon as you wake up, I've got something to show you! :D –love B.**

The Latina then dropped her phone onto her bed and rushed into the shower, washing her hair in record time. She grabbed the jeans hanging on the back of her chair, threw on her 'Lebanese' shirt –she knew Brittany loved it when she wore that shirt- and raced downstairs to hurriedly eat something. She then grabbed her keys, flung open the front door, and almost skipped to her car, before remembering that, although she was going to see the girl she was madly in love with, she was still Santana 'Badass' Lopez, and had a reputation to maintain. She pulled the car door open so fast, the momentum caused it to fling shut rapidly. Santana exhaled deeply and opened the door once again, with slightly less force this time, and clambered into the driver's seat.

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><p>She soon pulled up to the front of Brittany's house, and smiled when she saw no car in the driveway. Brittany's parents were out, which meant she could get her cuddle on with her girl, and maybe even some sweet lady kisses. She smirked devilishly, remembering their last sleepover a few nights ago; 'they may have to change the name 'sleepover', she thought to herself, 'as we definitely didn't do any of that'. She then strode up to the front door, ringing the bell loudly three times to signal her arrival. She heard the sound of bounding footsteps hurtling down the stairs, and giggled quietly at her girlfriend's eagerness.<p>

Then, the door was flung open suddenly, and Santana was pulled into a warm embrace. She felt soft lips peppering light kisses along her neck and collarbone, and sighed contentedly. She then pulled back from Brittany's arms, grinning like a fool and planting a long, passionate kiss onto those rosy pink lips.

"Hey" she breathed, gazing into the blonde's eyes, crystal clear orbs filled with love and happiness.

"Hey! Oh my god, San, I'm so happy you're here! You have to see what I've got! You won't believe it, it's so cool..."

Brittany continued to ramble on as she grabbed the Latina's hand and dragged her towards the kitchen. But then she suddenly stopped, bringing Santana to a halt behind her, and then turning to face her. She had a serious expression on her face, which made Santana giggle, as it was rather uncommon for the blonde to be serious about anything.

Brittany then began talking, taking Santana's hands into her own:

"Okay, so you know how we were in Home Economics the other day, and Miss Hagberg tried to make me crack the egg and kill the baby chicken, but I didn't want to because it was the baby chicken's house? Well, I felt bad that there were other baby chickens that become homeless whenever someone makes a cake or an omelette, so…. LOOK!"

She then yanked the confused Latina into the kitchen, who let out a loud gasp as she saw what Brittany was so proud of.

Eggs.

Everywhere.

On the table, in the dishwasher, in Lord Tubbington's basket –he did not look too pleased about this, as he was perched uncomfortably on top of the stove, glaring at the vast amount of egg boxes that surrounded him- and on almost every other available surface. Santana gazed around her, wide-eyed, trying to make sense of this unexpected situation.

"Um, Britt? What… I mean, how… Umm… WHAT THE HELL, BRITT?"

Brittany looked at Santana in surprise, as if her idea was obvious and easy to understand.

"Well, like I said. I felt bad for all the baby chickens, because they wouldn't have a house to go home to after school if someone broke in to make a cupcake with their insides, so… I rescued them!"

Santana stared at her girlfriend, mouth agape, not quite sure of what to say.

"Now, they can all live here, and they won't lose their homes, and they can have a happy life!"

Santana then smiled softly at the blonde; she loved that her girlfriend always cared about others, and was so selfless and compassionate. Quite the opposite of the fiery brunette; maybe that's why they got on so well.

Brittany grinned back at Santana, pleased with her plan. Santana didn't have the heart to tell Brittany the truth, that there weren't in fact any 'baby chickens', as Brittany liked to call them, inside the many eggs that were cluttering up the kitchen. Instead, she walked over to the beaming blonde, encircling her waist in her tan arms. She tiptoed up and planted a light kiss on Brittany's cheek, nibbling her jaw tenderly.

"See, that's what I love about you Britt Britt. You always put others first, you're just so caring and kind."

Brittany giggled and gazed down lovingly at the shorter girl, wrapping her arms around her neck.

"I just want the babies to grow up big and strong, and then maybe they can have more babies!"

She began to jump up and down excitedly, until Santana murmured:

"Yeah, unless Lord Fatty over there eats them all before they even reach puberty…"

"Wait! What?"

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><p><strong>So, I hope you guys enjoyed it! I wanted to just write a funny one-shot fic, so here it is ^^ also, did you guys like the title? I thought it was pretty clever, in relation to the story, but I'm the author, so I would think that xD anyway, I hope you liked it, and, as always, reviews are much appreciated! :D also, THE VALENTINE'S DAY EPISODE WILL BE HERE SOON. I WANTS MY SWEET LADY KISSES, AND I WANTS 'EM NOW! :D<strong>


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